I thought all was going well and improving concerning my husband's hepatic issues (or what I have come to think of as La Crise de Foie de John) until this afternoon, when I suddenly recognized the song I've been whistling for the last couple weeks:  The Merry Widow Waltz.

To the dwindling numbers of my friends that are here, and here alone, I say Happy Holidays, no matter what flavor they might have been for you.

Seriously, the God of War collection (720p God of War 1 and 2 for PS3) has hit me where it hurts. I was Hell-bent on getting it, and don't get me wrong, it's awesome to be playing the game again, but it's kind of not the same game. For reasons unfathomable to me (and to everybody in every forum, everywhere it gets addressed), they took out the experience reward for ending a 10-hit throw with a throw-kill. It's a persistent goal throughout the entire game, and part of what made it so fun and rewarding. It's just gone. What the hell, guys? It actually kind of ruins the experience, not only because the game is less fun without it, but because now I have to go through both games looking for more little adjustments that hurt gameplay.

But I made out like a bandit this Christmas. Terabyte external hard drive for my mad backupz, little zen garden, the aforementioned game, and the bossest Mp3 player that can be found without having to install special software to manage. I could write a whole post about how badass this thing is, but I'm having so little time to post as it is. My cup, she runneth her ass over.

Some of it is music, and the acquisition thereof. Just about every band or musician I would want an album from has either put one out this year or announced that there will be one in early 2010. I'm getting collector's editions all over the place. After Forever (I figure I owe them some money), Bo Burham, Epica, Dethklok, Rammstein, Leaves' Eyes, and those are just the ones I can come up with off the top of my head. Just the collector's editions. The amount of new music that has hit me has just been overwhelming, and full of total awesome. Epica's doing something new with their singer. It's different, but it's definitely working. I'm so glad they left the corny, singsongy tunes of The Divine Conspiracy behind them. This album rocked my face off.

( Band-specific music things. )

I did not go see Avatar. Why pay any amount of money, or give any more of your time to see a movie that you saw in its entirety the first time you saw a preview for it? There's nothing in it that's going to be significantly more visually impressive than what's in your average video game these days, so no thank you.

Oh, hey, I found the entire script online. Reposted with permission from 20th Century Fox:

FERN GULLY happens, but with ALIENS. [end]

So stop asking.

Randomness now.


I've heard the word "superficial" a lot of times, but I've never seen a super fish.

People who get bowl cuts cannot be trusted to make their own decisions.

ATTENTION PEOPLE WHO SPEAK SPANISH: "R" does not equal "L." You guys are worse about this than any Asian culture. Listen to somebody rolling an R. More than likely, they're being lazy bastards and rolling an L. Know who's the worst about this? Latinos. Eric Estrada, remember his appearance in that Burger King commercial, pitching his imaginary personalized shades? Remember him pointing to it, and saying "Est-lala?" You want proof? Watch Dexter. Watch Maria Laguerta try to say "Miguel Prado." It's like she's going out of her way to emphasize that it isn't being done right. I wonder if she's making fun of the culture.

I'd like to find the guy who coined the phrase "Latin America" and punch him in the face. Words mean things, asshole.

You know, the Pilgims could also use a shot in the pills for leaving from a place called "Plymouth," and naming the first place they came to "Plymouth." Squanto shoulda set your boat on fire.

I'd also like to meet the first person who said "I could care less about..." and find out whether he/she actually intended to say that. How did that ever catch on?

Geek out over this link.

The commercials for 2012 made me laugh. Scene. "Predicted by the Mayans." Scene. "Confirmed by science." Like that's not hilariously vague. They might as well have put quotes around the word.

"Hands down." People use this to describe an easy or decisive victory. "He just kicked that guy's ass, hands down, man." This has always agitated me. Do people not wonder where these expressions come from, and whether they sound stupid saying them? That kind of reminds me of that bullshit explanation of where "Mind your p's and q's" comes from. ARGH. NOW I AM ANGRY.

No, I can't be angry listening to this song. My serenity > people who talk without thinking.

I want somebody to send me too many text messages, so I can threaten to kick them in the texticles. Don't you?

Come on, guys. Orgasm as a verb? Now you're just getting lazy.

Oh! That reminds me. PEOPLE NOT IN CALIFORNIA: Where you live, do people ever refer to a movie as a "show"? I need to know that it's isolated to the drones in Sacramento, or at least to this brain-dead state. "The Matrix? Oh my god, I loved that show, it was so deep!" This is why I write exceedingly violent books. I need an outlet to release what these people give me or it will rupture my cerebrum.

( Rants happening )

Hey MS Word, stop trying to predict what I want to highlight with the mouse. What I want highlighted, I WILL HIGHLIGHT.

Take ten seconds and go here: http://www.survivingtheworld.net/Lesson149.html
You will be a better person for it.

Final note: ENOUGH ABOUT TIGER WOODS. JESUS, PEOPLE.